"★★★★★
Five stars, because I’m genuinely amazed by this experience.
We stayed during an Iowa State game weekend and paid roughly $350 per night. Fine by me. Supply and demand. Charge what the market will bear.
What’s impressive is pairing premium pricing with the absolute minimum amount of effort possible.
A room that achieved “barely clean enough.” An elevator loud enough to announce every trip. HVAC that provided plenty of noise and occasional temperature control. Breakfast items that seemed as disengaged as the hotel itself.
And they ran out of coffee.
At breakfast.
That was admirable. If there is one thing a hotel should accomplish before 9 a.m., I would have guessed “have coffee.” Apparently I expect too much.
Then there’s the signage: wipe your feet, do this, don’t do that, follow this rule. Nice touch. Very classy. There’s something wonderfully efficient about putting more effort into telling guests how to behave than into serving them.
The whole stay left us wondering whether anyone actually works here, or whether the building simply operates on residual momentum.
So bravo. Maximum game-weekend pricing. Minimum staffing. Minimum service. Minimum amenities. Minimum effort. Maximum instructions.
And really, I got what I deserved. I booked it.
Country Inn & Suites: you have successfully made your brand unforgettable to me.
“Wow, they really tried,” said no one. Ever."