"I recently stayed at The Nines Hotel, which describes itself as “a stunning restaurant, public bar & boutique hotel.” A bold opening statement.
On arrival, I found reception, foyer, restaurant and bar all rolled into one, so checking in felt like joining the queue for lunch. The crowd was a lively mix of diners, drinkers, families and night-outers, while I stood there with a suitcase wondering if I’d booked a room or entered a community centre.
I was handed a key large enough to secure a shed and pointed vaguely toward the stairs. No lift, of course, which added excitement while carrying luggage and a suit. After navigating a maze of staircases, I reached my room and understood the key immediately — the lock looked like something from 1960s Russia.
The room itself was tired. The navy carpet had seen things. The bed was comfortable, but the décor suggested the last refurbishment may have been interrupted by the fall of the Berlin Wall.
Dinner was actually very good, although eating beside the check-in desk while guests arrived added a certain theatre to the experience.
Later, I fancied a quiet pint. Absolutely no chance. The bar was packed and seats appeared reserved for diners only.
Back in the room, the heating had it at tropical levels, while the window opened roughly an inch. Then a seagull outside spent the night making noises like a distressed elephant.
At £99 it wasn’t bad, but it felt more B&B than boutique hotel. Upgrades are planned, not a moment too soon."